First things first--my diet. Well, not really a diet but you know what I mean, is going okay. I sat out about six weeks ago to eat very clean for ten weeks and work my butt off. My goal was to loose 20 pounds and be in swimsuit shape by the end of May. Well I have got four weeks to go. If I put my eating habits on a scale of one to ten I'd give them about a seven. But I've lost about ten pounds. So for the next 4 weeks I want to be really strict. My wedding anniversary is also at the end of May and I bought a fishnet bodysuit that screamed when I put it on, hopefully by the end of may it'll be crying or he'll be crying.
Second, I don't know if I mentioned that I wanted to take a creative writing class this summer. Well I am taking it online. And I had to register through a local community college to take the course online. They didn't offer the course but another school did and they are all together on this virtual college thing. So anyway I had to email the registrar to register me for the class and she emailed me back saying that they don't offer the class and the English department wanted to know why I want to take this class. I was like "Excuse me?" Last time I checked I was paying. I didn't know I needed permission. And correct me if I'm wrong but aren't you guys in the Virtual college program... Or did I misunderstand... Help me understand this? By the time I got through flooding her with emails she went ahead and put me in the class. But it just goes to show that perhaps the host school (the school I applied to) doesn't get the money when people take classes that aren't offered in their institution they just give credit, which is why they make it hard.
The class is four weeks long so after I finish it around the first of July I'm going to send the book off with more confidence.
I got another decline letter the other day. This one said that I am a competent writer, but the story is not for her. What's so hard about the rejection is when you know as a reader, not a writer but a reader, that you've been reading a bunch of crap! That there's a bunch of crap out there, and I'm not mentioning any names because I quit reading it. And y'all know what I'm talking about. It's just like music. Think about rap and where it was 9 or ten years ago vs where it is now. Everything is so commercial: "shake that laffy taffy." Books are becoming the same way, at least black books, we are the ones quicker to be placed in a box. When is the last time you heard music that appealed to mainly whites all gimmicky. So now all black books are the same, and it isn't our fault we've been told that's what sells.
I'm tired of writing.
LF Goodwyn

Just a thought

I was in the feminine hygiene section at the pharmacy and I focused in on a Summer's Eve douche and I started thinking, hmmmmmm, I wonder what would people think if a black woman was on the box instead of the white lady? Could you imagine seeing a black lady on a douche?
LF Goodwyn

Guess who's moving into the neighborhood!

I don't know if I mentioned it but there was this elderly man I used to walk with everyday several months ago. I quit going down to the track because it was starting to get cold. He is a real estate broker and he told me if I ever needed help let him know. So when I first started this housing project, I noticed he wasn't at the track anymore so I called his office and they told me that he was out sick and so I asked when he'll be back in and they told me that he won't...He has cancer. I was crushed! I drove past his house on the way to the store (this is a very small town) and I noticed they were emptying out his house...Killed me! I remember before I quit going down there he told me that he was feeling tired a lot.

Lastly, I think the people fell for it. They said they'd sign the papers for us to buy the land. The lady even called Casey back, and was like, "Oh, I got the wrong number" she's so excited! I thought hmmmmm, they've been cut and don't even know they're bleeding! Imagine their faces when "Guess who's moving into the neighborhood."
-LF Goodwyn

I was too angry... No, I was mad!

As I told you all before we are buying a house. We've been looking every where for land but we've encountered one of three things: either it was too far, too expensive, or too ragged. Well we found the perfect piece of land, it's five minutes from the city! My skeptic husband even thought is was great, he didn't say it but I could tell. Well we drove out there too look at it and as we were leaving the neighborhood there were about three or four white men sitting on one of the lawns on the corner. So one of the men motioned at us and walked near our car. When my husband rolled down the window the man said, "Oh... I thought your were someone else," and just stood there. Now my husband is 6'7 with locks in a place where we and maybe a few others are the only people with locks, so immediately my defense went up. So my husband says, "we were looking at the land over there, and the man says, "well did you like it?" And I can't remember what my husband said but I do remember him saying, "How far does it go? And the man showed us, and that was it. Now we live in the country in the deep south, so for those of you who don't know this is redneck territory. This particular subdivision was very small and I didn't see any black people but I could be wrong. So I was thinking that they were trying to find out if we were going to taint their lily white redneck neighborhood, which mind you these are huge acre lots so it isn't like we'd be nose to nose.
Well to make a long story short, the lot is for sale by owner, and when I got directions the day before from the owner the lady seemed nice. Well I looked at the land and called the builder and told them to call the owners back for me and tell them that we're interested. Well the builder left three messages and no one called them back. So something told me to have my friend to call who is white and she got through. My friend acted like me and everything was cool. So then she gave my friend, Casey the address to her home so that they could mail the contracts and then she added, "I'm in the neighborhood."
Then my skin crawled because I felt like they saw us out there looking at the land and that they must have added two and two together and decided that they didn't want any blacks living out there.
At first I was thinking that man who stopped us maybe knew the owners and called them, but hell, I didn't know they actually live in the damned neighborhood!
The old me would have been like screw them I don't want to live in their neighborhood, but it's too convenient to pass up, and they can just kiss my ass.

I know...I know!

I know it's mid- April. I haven't written anything this month. I've been busy. We're buying a new house and my brain has been tangled. I hate doing straight laced stuff (paying bills, gathering documents). I have just about finished up working with this client and that's good because it'll give me more time to focus on my own work. I'm taking a creative writing class this summer. Actually I'm taking two, and I thought that I'd finish my book, because I'm still not finished, and have it at the printer while I take the creative writing class. Now I'm wondering if that makes sense? One one hand I was thinking that if I didn't have the book at the printer I'd be tempted to do another re-write, and sometimes you have to let it fly, but I know at least adding somethings to it after I take the creative writing class would help. And it would be stupid to send it to print before I take my first creative writing class. But on another note I'm tired of looking at it and I don't want to get caught up in a game of correcting and get afraid to have it printed. It is very scary.
Easter was good. My mother-in-law was in town, it was nice. We went out to dinner this past weekend and I over ate on Saturday and Sunday. So actually as soon as I get off the computer I'm going on my four mile run. Then I've got laundry. Then I have to go into the city to buy groceries, maybe. I don't have any coffee creamer so I didn't have my morning cup of coffee!
So my timeline for the next couple of weeks is hopefully get a lot of re-writing done. I'd like to have the book in a place to where I can just touch it up after the creative writing class. I'll be moving soon, if everything goes through on the house. But before that we'll have to have the land cleared. Either way I know I have to finished before school is out for the kids because I'd rather not have them here while I'm working. When school first started I couldn't write because they weren't around. All day I'd stare at the computer screen and as soon as they walked through the door I'd start typing away yelling at them: HUSH!
And I never heard from Agate, which is probably a good thing.